1. Live trees literally look for ways to burn to the ground.
Okay, that may be a stretch. However, as real trees become more popular amongst younger generations that grew up with all things artificial, we encourage you to place that tree as far away from the fireplace and heaters as possible and don’t put evergreen fragrance candles anywhere nearby. Make sure you check and add water daily and remove the tree from the property as soon as possible after the holidays.
2. Hanging lights can be hazardous to your health.
Falling off ladders and roofs or getting electrocuted are not the greatest ways to start the season. We recommend hiring the professionals (always make sure they are insured). If you opt to engineer and construct your own exterior illumination, we recommend you strictly follow the lighting instructions. Leave the Stanley® stapler in the tool box and hang with approved attachments. Make sure the lights are specifically indicated for outdoor use and don’t string more than specified for a single electrical outlet.
3. Though tasty, preparing fried turkey is the most hazardous activity since fire was invented.
Who could imagine dropping a cold wet turkey into a hot oil bath over an open flame would be a recipe for an explosion. Make sure your turkey is thawed before slowly lowering it into the oil, that is after you have double checked for the proper quantity of oil. Always fry your turkey on a flat stable surface, like your front driveway, so all the neighbors marvel at your extraordinary skills and secretly ruminate with jealousy. And of course, never fry in the garage or on a deck.
So as you hang your stockings, we strongly suggest you remove the fake tree smelling candle from the mantle so you can enjoy the much anticipated visit from Santa Claus, instead of the fire department after your candle charred the holiday swag you lovingly adorned on that mantle with care.
Happy Holidays from GBA!